a recollection of the things i thought i had forgotten

by the place between sleep & awake

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credits

released June 4, 2015

shout out to Jack Connor of Hit Me, Harold! and songsforyourselfand everyoneelse for lending his voice and tambourine skillz on "that was then, this is dumb"

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the place between sleep & awake San Diego, California

Weekend pity partier.

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Track Name: back to square one
i feel so alone each time we kiss
am i the only one who feels like this
you say that you want to stick around
that you are happy with what you have found

but you'll get bored like everyone
and leave me alone, back to square one
Track Name: you mustn't give your heart to a wild thing
im sick of crying over things i dont have control of
like how you dont want me around
so i wont stick around

youre so used to getting what you want
well i never get what i want

and you said that makes me sound selfish
well id rather be selfish than waste my time with you

and i will learn to be happy alone
even if it kills me
and ill learn not to love you like i used to
can you feel me forgetting about you
Track Name: that was then, this is dumb
ill let you run your fingers through my hair
let you pretend that you really care about me
cause its the only excuse
that i really have to be close to you

i always set myself up for failure
when i start to think that someone is capable of being
scared to lose me
are you scared to lose me
like im scared as hell of losing you

well ive lost myself in you too many times
and youve lost yourself somewhere in your mind
sorry i couldnt find you
not that you wanted me to
my mistake for thinking i could save you
my mistake for hoping i would save you

and im only yours when no one else wants you
and we only talk when you have nothing better to do
so drink up my dear we both know how much that you need to
but dont call me this time cause i have better things to do
Track Name: you'll regret it in the morning (you always do)
its been years but im finally learning how to live without you. i no longer use your coffee cup in the mornings which was the closest i would get to feeling your lips on mine when i wake up. every letter youve written, every cd youve burned, every fucking flower you picked for me on our walks home together is now miles away in a plastic bag that i had tried to suffocate myself with the night before. but nothing ever works out in my favor.

if you wouldve put down your phone for one second the last time i saw you, maybe youd be in this room with me right now. but youre not and im trying to be okay with it but all i can do is wonder where you are now. how youre doing, what youre thinking, who youre fucking. but youre the calm before a hurricane. youre the no vacancy sign flashing neon colors in my brain. youre the sigh before a beautiful sunset. and all i was was a morning regret.